Rants of a Crazy Man

I've been thinking about the terms "actively patient." I don't think I heard it anywhere before and in a sense, it could be conceived as a oxymoron.

I am called to be patient...

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Psalm 37:7

But still being active in moving forward in my life, both of this world and spiritually...

See Joshua 4 (thanks Brandy)

So this leaves me in bind of sorts. I know I want to do what God wants (and generally that happens whether we want to or not even if it doesn't sync up to our plan). But I feel as though if I wait, I will fall behind...miss something important.

Then it gets me looking for signs or something. Getting to the point where I am looking for formations of clouds possibly spelling out something (I'm speaking hypothetically) but wishing for a parade dedicated to what I should do next.

Then I realize that God isn't some sort of trickster, someone who is going to make a puzzle for you leading to the next step in your life. Look at the old testament and what God showed those people. Pillars of fire, manna from the sky, etc. If we are faithful to God, He will reveal to us what to do (or not do in some cases). So knowing this gives me some peace.

I wish I knew what to do next, I think we all do and we all struggle with it, many times in our lives, in many areas of our lives.

I guess I wait. Prayerfully yes. Patiently, kind of...almost like a child waiting to open gifts on Christmas day. I know there is something good there, but I have to try to patiently wait and sometimes endure through Aunt Mildred's painful slide show of when she visited the Black Hills.

Now what?

Keep actively moving forward while quietly waiting for a answer...now that's weird. But that's what I need to do. But still I can't help and feel...

What am I waiting for? What are we all waiting for?