Wait

A lot of us like to wait.

Wait it out. Wait till something good comes along. Wait till the timing is right.

Wait for the sign in the sky. That one thing to happen, in order for this to happen, THEN do something.

Wait.

In the Christian sense we wait on God. Which is NOT, a bad thing. Please don't get me wrong. But sometimes we wait too long, we don't take a step of faith, we pray about it, and the season has passed. The door has been closed. We are left standing, asking, "When God?"

I have done that more often then not.

We are scared to take a step of faith, take that journey toward here or there, or wherever/whatever! I know this is coming from a single guy, no children, no house to own or whatever. But I know there are things like jobs, children, spouses, etc that we HAVE to take into consideration. I know this.

But we are still not willing to take steps of faith knowing that we have prayed about it, gotten wise advice and it being just a GREAT venture/opportunity. We know that God is at the forefront of our mind in whatever decision we make and that God is with us in this decision (obviously if it isn't some sort of sin), but still.....

We wait.

There is comfort to be found in waiting. Once again, I know this, I've done this, I've experienced the comfort. But after it has passed, whatever 'it' is, one of two things happen. You see it for what it was and say, "dang, I should of done that." In comes regret.

Or, it slips pass your eyes, with you never knowing what you missed. In that case, ignorance may be bliss.

As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen."Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."At once they left their nets and followed him.

Mark 1: 16-18

Christ called them to follow Him. They dropped everything they had to follow him. Without a hesitation. And for them, in the Jewish culture, that literally meant everything. Who they are, who their father were, how they will make all of their living, how their family will survive, who their boys will grow up to be... To follow a unknown rabbi.

Everything.

I don't say this, because I am some hero or some garbage. Because sometimes I still leap before I look. That sometimes I do need to consider more options, to pray more about it, to seek a answer before I start asking the next question.

And there are times where I am waiting. Stagnant. Waiting for God to come in and swoop me off my feet and show me the PERFECT opportunity or something. God can do that, He can. But He wants all of you and He wants all of you to have faith in Him, that He is with you when you choose to take that step.

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

Revelation 3:20

Christian or not, He is knocking on your door right now.

He wants to take you on a great journey.
He is ready to hear what is hurting inside you.
He wants to forgive you of whatever you may think is unforgivable.
He wants to pour so much love on you.

Right now.

So what are you waiting on?

Apex, by Caleb Stewart

I’ve been told I’m a foolish romantic about life. And there are questions I haven’t even begun to ask because I am young and naïve. Maybe that’s true, but let me ask: what is life anyway? Because if growing old means growing sour, then call me young; and if being alive means being cold, then call me dead. To you I am.

No, we can choose where and how we live. We can choose to live in hell. Or we can let the sounds of heaven echo in our lips. I think I’ll do the latter. I won’t wait until I get to heaven to live there. Because I know that if I open my doors to light, to love, to life; if I find the beauty in the most violent of storms; if I find the flame in the blackest of ashes; if I find the water in the driest of deserts; then maybe, just maybe, people will find the heaven that is within me.

We make life about so many things. Things like money, fame, and travel. But, I know it’s not where you are or who you know, but who you are that sets you free. I didn’t have to travel the world to know that a kiss in Paris is the same as a kiss in a trailer park on the east side, if filled with love. Love is what sets us free.

So this love… where do we find it? Well it isn’t just something waiting to be found. It isn’t the kiss of a human, or the warmth of an embrace. It has nothing to do with some building on the street corner called a church. Love is a person. And yes, Love created the kiss. Love created sex and wine. Love built mountains and killed giants. Love did all of that and Love also made you. And whether you know it or not, you’ve been trying to find your way back to Him ever since.

Love sacrificed the thing that He loved most for you. And Love stands even now, at your door, knocking, with tears in His eyes, waiting for you to come and open it. He wants to fill every part of your life: even the sex and the wine. The only way to truly enjoy those things is in Him.

But it’s okay if you still want to say I’m a foolish romantic. You can call me religious or even stupid. But, I know what my Father calls me.

He calls me, Lightbringer.

Hope defined

Someone asked me recently to define 'hope,' here is what I came up with. I pray you find Hope from it...

Hope...

When I first used to think of hope, i used to think it was something you did when you 'hoped' for something.

Like you hoped for the best for a situation, whether its for you or someone else. It's hope in the process and outcome...that everything will be okay.

That someone will get healthy.

Someone will get the job.

And so on.

So I wished people hope and, in turn, had hope in God. You know, as many people do. It was still a "good" thing, I mean a impactful thing. Then we had a sermon a couple weeks ago about 'hope' during the hopeless times. (This sermon and the Louie Giglio sermon about Hope are pretty good)

He spoke out of Matthew 9:18-26. About the man with the dead daughter and the woman with the 12 years of sickness. When the pastor spoke of these 2 people in the sermons, he said they had Hope. NOT hope in the process or even the outcome of their problems, but HOPE in the One who provides/creates the Hope.

Read what the people said in the scripture...

The man: My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and SHE WILL LIVE. The woman: If I only touch his cloak, I WILL BE HEALED.

They KNEW; KNEW that God was going to do that if they had faith and hope in Him. The KNEW it, didn't second guess it, they did it. The moved, they didn't stand still and question whether God would work, would move, would heal, would act. They had HOPE in the Hopemaker. So many times we say we have hope in God and we should. But we have hope that this will happen or won't happen. We simply don't have Hope in Him, because regardless of the outcome or the process, He knows what is best for us and has His and our best interest in mind. So to have hope, brings hope....if that makes sense.

Well, I went to my car after church and dialogued with God about this. The woman in the scripture was sick for 12 years. I asked God, what is holding me back from You, and putting complete Hope, Faith and Trust in Him. Well it was something that stemmed back to high school...some 12 years ago! I had given aspects to Him about this desire, but never the WHOLE picture.

When I did, gave it allllll to Him, that's when things started happening. It almost felt like God was saying, "I've been waiting for a long while for you to do this, lets get started." Like God was waiting beside me all this time as I just pouted and yelled like a kid in a grocery store. I was moving in a direction toward He wanted to me, but kept wandering off, dragging my feet, getting caught up in life.

There are so so so many verses on Hope. I need to read up on those some more. I think I will end it with the one Giglio said, and it doesn't even have Hope in it.

Its John 16:33

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Now that's Hope in the Hopemaker.

A video shoot.

I went on a shoot today and we were interviewing people for a hospital. People who have been diagnosed with heart disease and encountered some sort of depression.

Well our first interview for the day was with a elderly man, Mr. Miller (to which he replied when I told him I was a 'Miller,' he said he heard once if all the Millers banded together we could take office...but we just don't feel like it). Well dressed, smaller, balding, but a smile and glint to his eye. He had been a pastor for 40 years previous to his condition.

He sat down and the interviewer asked him a few questions regarding what happened to him, how did he handled the depression, how did his family, etc.

What amazed me was the stories he would tell, yes he was a pastor, so talking is what he knew how to do. Yes, the stories he told of him battling with the disease were drawing me in, but the attitude he told them in.

This man was diagnosed with cancer 17 years ago and passed that, he has 15 stints in his heart (all put in within a very short amount of time) and during this surgery he had a heart attack. After that he dealt with having to leave his position as a pastor and during this time depression hit him. He would talk about looking out the window during this time of depression (in the winter) and see all these dead trees everywhere adding to the gloom of his life. But one tree, one lone maple tree, stood on its own. He wasn't sure if it was because of a steam break or what, but during this winter season, this maple tree stood in its splendor, fully green with leave. He says, it was a gift for him, that he would not be conquered by this.

He visited some long long time friends and spent some quality time with them, knowing that they were dealing with heart disease like him. He finished that story saying that he had to have that time, to understand that he could live with this disease didn't make him or break him. Then in that same breath, he said that both of those friends, died within 60 days of that visit, and with a smile on his face, he said that they gave him a gift he would never forget.

He went on to share how attitude was so very important and a big thing to get him by was a journal or prayer book, in which he wrote his. He ended his interview saying that 17 years ago he was given a new ticket on life, that he wanted to grow old and see his grand-kids get married and grow up...and that was happening now.

I walked up to him afterward and said, "You are truly a inspiration, sounds like God is a big part of what is going on." To which he replied.

"He's all over this."

I know He is a man of faith, but I didn't hear him say anything direct about God, though he eluded to many things of faith in his story. As he walked out he was chatting with the interviewer (a administrator he had known for quite some time), myself and the other crew member saying that when he talks, he likes to talk in metaphors when he tells stories. As I walked away from saying my goodbyes, I thought of another influential person in many people's lives who did the same thing...reaching those who were, and still are, lost.

Thank you Mr. Miller, you are a inspiration and a role model.

Just Like You

I wake up in the morning.
I celebrate the day that the Lord has made.
And sometimes I don't, it's something I've prayed.

The sun rises for me.
I hit the snooze button a minimum of 5 times.
I'm hungry in the morning.
I like dry cereal, that's no crime.

Watch the morning news.
Drink coffee. Have some toast.
Say a quick prayer.
It's going to be a good day,
says the morning host.

When I leave for the day, I face many struggles.
Every day. Without fail.

Just like you.

I walk out somedays with a beat in my step.
Other days, I walk out fearing what the day will bring.
Never-the-less, I walk out with hope.
Hope with a capital 'H'.

I'm a soldier.
I'm a student.
I'm a executive director.
I'm a house wife.
I'm a blue-collar/white-collar worker.
I'm a hated tax collector.

And I don't work at all.

I'm a failure.
I'm a hero
I'm a addict.
I'm a funny guy.
I'm a cancer survivor.
I'm a hopeless romantic.

I'm a sinner.
Saved by Grace.

Just like you.

I take on the day, every way.
Have bad days.
And good ones too.
I bring home the bacon,
and sometimes bring nothing home to you.

I'm affected by the same things you are.
Though you may think I am not.
This Faith can't be shaken.
That's where anxiety stopped.

I carry burdens on my shoulders.
The weight of the world crushes me.
I cry in the bathroom at work.
I pray in my cubicle on my knees.

I wrestle with depression,
thinking about yearly fiscal reports.
I study the bible during my lunch period in the library.
I serve a God who won't fall short.

I cast my burdens on Him.
Because He wants them.
He doesn't condemn.
But sees me as His precious gem.

Just like you.

I come home to a broken home.
Or to nothing at all.
I enjoy a lovely dinner every night.
Or one from a disgusting mess hall.

Sometimes my food is from a microwaveable box.
The mash-potatoes still frozen.
The bodies essential building blocks.

I spend the evening in front of the T.V.
I study algebra all night.
I sit at a coffee shop with my closest friends.
I work on financial plans on a evening flight.

I roam the streets fearing who is after me.
I search for hope on the internet.
I perform plays with my kids.
I go to the gym, looking for a good sweat.

I get tired around ten thirty.
But sometimes don't fall asleep till 3 a.m.
I go to bed unfulfilled.
Searching for Something.
Looking for the Great I AM.

Other days I go to bed,
ready to face the next day.
Then I pray.
To not decay.
In my faith.
Because I found Someone.
Who is the Way.

Just like you.

You and I aren't so different.
We come from different backgrounds.
We are in a different tax category.
We live in different environments.
We are in different places in our life story.

But in that difference is where we rejoice.
Where we embrace one of the things we have in common.

Yaweh.
Jehovah.
Holy One.
The Beloved.
Savior.
Only Begotten Son.

Shepard.
Chief Cornerstone.
Elohim.
Lord of Lords.
The Truth.
Prince of Peace.

Almighty.
Lord of all.
Conqueror.
Lamb.
Horn of Salvation.
Counselor.

King of Kings.
Redeemer.
Living Water.
Bread of life.
The Lion of Judah.
Father.

Jesus.

I tip more then I normally would.
I work in the nursery at church.
I pray for Aunt who doesn't know Christ.
I encourage my friend who is going through hurt.

I search for answers now based in Truth.
I talk about Christ during my lunch break.
I volunteer serving the homeless on Tuesday nights.
I go out of my comfort zone and I don't fake.

I celebrate the cross.
The single most devastating event.
The death of the One who came to save.
Facing unspeakable torment.

Used now to free us.
Us.

Now we are in the same big family.
Now we carry the cross together.
Now we build each other up and are built up.
Now we serve the same Great Creator.

No matter where we came from.
I am saved by His love...
Grace...
Mercy.
I'm made new!

I celebrate everyday.
Just like you.

This heart...

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to You
We could sing our own but what would it be without You?

I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only Hope

This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to You
We could sing our own but what would it be without You?

This heart, it beats, beats for only You
This heart, it beats, beats for only You

This heart, it beats, beats for only You
My heart is Yours

(Paramore - This Heart)

I'm a visual type of guy...

If you know me, you can probably ascertain this. I would classify myself a creative person, though I would seldom use the word 'artsy.' But I see things as I do through my medium. I see a great sunset and say, "Wouldn't this be a beautiful photo to capture?" Or I see something unique and it creates a flood of ideas for a film script. It's how God wired me and I like it!

The reason I like it is because I can hope to capture the emotion of the moment permanently, well as permanent as the medium its created on lasts. If I can capture the moment and share the story or show people 'God' in this moment, that's the most perfect end result. Don't get me wrong, some events and phenomenons are permanently etched into our minds, but if I can help with that or can add to this memory in a tangible way then great!

The reason I bring this up isn't to talk about how I work but to share more about this emotion behind the item. Whether it be a photo, a video, a song, a place or even a fragrance. A lot of 'things' in our lives carry some sort of significance, sometimes drawing a very emotional significance.

So I was sifting through some pictures the other day...faces, flowers, oceans, children, loved ones, lost ones, family...I have a lot of pictures. Of course these pictures bring with it a myriad of emotions, some stronger then others. I came across some photos a while back and was filled with love, hope, faith and joy from them (among other positive emotions). Remembering them made me feels those emotions again... As it should be. But as I thought about the event(s) behind the photos some more, I remembered the times weren't always rosy. Those times weren't always filled with love, hope, faith and joy. There was a hurt, sadness, and frustration to name a few of the 'not-so' good emotions. BUT. That's not what I chose to remember and cherish when I looked at those pictures.

Why is that? It's because at the heart of it, of the event, of the people involved. I knew their hearts...or more specifically Who was in their hearts. God. And because of God's awesomeness, love, goodness, and so on and so on and so on, those attributes overcame in these memories.... THAT is what is flows out and over from these pictures and people though some hurt resides.

So God whispered to me, "Child, then why don't you think that of Me?"

Now when I think of God I think the same great things of when I looked at the pictures and yet so much more. Because regardless who is in the picture, God can not be compared to the broken sinful humans we are. But when I see God and know He has never hurt me (unless it was to make me a better person for Him), or done anything bad. Yet I don't feel true peace, love, hope, joy...all the things that make God God.

And I claimed to know His heart?

I was then reminded of a sermon I heard several months ago where the pastor said that so many people 'believe IN God' but how many truly 'BELIEVE God'? I read His word, but yet do I really believe what it is says? He wants to love us and wants the best for us...for you.

So it is time to believe.

As I know that God dwells in the heart of the person(s) whose picture I have and comment upon above. I can have reassurance that God resides in me and believes in me. And I in Him.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord," Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

And I'm praying that we will see
Something there in between
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream
And all these twisted thoughts I see
Jesus there in between...

The best New Years resolution ever...

Brandy shared this with me, so I have to share this with you.

I pray that this finds you wherever you are and 2009 is amazing year...

***********************

New Year's Resolutions: The Two Lists

A Message from DailyOM Co-Founder Scott Blum

I was fortunate to spend time with an enigmatic man named Robert during a very special period of my life. Robert taught me many things during our days together, and this time of year reminds me of one particular interaction we had.

"Now that you are becoming more aware," Robert said, "you need to begin to set goals for yourself so you don't lose the momentum you have built."

"Like New Year's resolutions?" I asked.

"That's an interesting idea," he smirked. "Let's do that."

By then I was used to his cryptic responses, so I knew something was up because of the way his eyes sparkled as he let out an impish laugh.

"Tonight's assignment is to make two lists," Robert continued. "The first is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WANT to keep, and the second is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WILL keep. Write the WANT List first, and when you have exhausted all of your ideas, then write the second list on another sheet of paper."

That night I went home and spent several hours working on the two lists. The WANT List felt overwhelming at first, but after a while I got into writing all the things I had always wanted to do if the burdens of life hadn't gotten in the way. After nearly an hour, the list swelled to fill the entire page and contained nearly all of my ideas of an ideal life. The second list was much easier, and I was able to quickly commit ten practical resolutions that I felt would be both realistic and helpful.

The next day, I met Robert in front of the local food Co-op, where we seemed to have most of our enlightening conversations. "Tell me about your two lists," Robert said as the familiar smirk crept onto his face.

"The first list contains all the things I SHOULD do if I completely changed my life to be the person I always wanted to be. And the second list contains all the things I COULD do by accepting my current life, and taking realistic steps towards the life I want to lead."

"Let me see the second list," he said.

I handed him the second list, and without even looking at it, he ripped the paper into tiny pieces and threw it in the nearby garbage can. His disregard for the effort I had put into the list annoyed me at first, but after I calmed down I began to think about the first list in a different light. In my heart, I knew the second list was a cop out, and the first list was the only one that really mattered.

"And now, the first list." Robert bowed his head and held out both of his hands.

I purposefully handed him the first list and held his gaze for several seconds, waiting for him to begin reading the page. After an unusually long silence, he began to crumple the paper into a ball and once again tossed it into the can without looking at it.

"What did you do that for?!" I couldn't hide my anger any longer.

Robert began to speak in a quiet and assured voice. "What you SHOULD or COULD do with your life no longer matters. The only thing that matters, from this day forward, is what you MUST do."

He then drew a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to me.

I opened it carefully, and found a single word floating in the middle of the white page:

"Love."