Not quite my style.

Do you ever go to buy some new clothes and you see something that you think could look good on you but when you hold it up to yourself you say, "It's just not me"? If someone came with you they may say it looks great on you or screams "You." You politely smile and say, "Really?" You look at it again, hold it up to yourself again and shrug in uncertainty.

Then you either put it back on the rack or reluctantly buy it. That piece of clothing then either spends its lifetime in a closet or you wear it only when you know that person is going to be around because they liked it (or they bought it for you).

This is a similar analogy how I feel about the Christian life and sometimes my own Christian life.

I know the life I want and need to live but sometimes it just doesn't seem to fit or feel right...I don't know exactly how to explain it.

We wear that 'shirt' because some people think we look good in it, but it just doesn't fit us. We wear the 'pants' because it's what we want to be like but still doesn't seem right for us.

And if we don't like how it looks, we just hang up the clothes (belief/faith) in a closet, pass by it once and a while, think about it every now again, but just don't want to wear it. But we know it's there.

Sometimes when I think about the whole scope of what Christianity is, I step back and say..."Wow, is this real? Do I really, truly believe any of this?" That sometimes I wander around and put on a "show" because that's what's expected of me. I can see the "ludicrousness" of how Christianity can be perceived that many people have, believe it or not.

After I process these thoughts, I understand them for just what they are...thoughts. Not doubts and not uncertainties. Just faith clouded by a society of disbelief and faithlessness.

This will be a battle I will continue to fight for the rest of my life, to figure out this Christianity "thing" and my place in His plan. But my bigger concern is more to continue to actively fight, not get passive or lazy in my pursuit, because that's when I fall.

I reflect on what has happened to me so far and the promises made to us all and find encouragement, hope and more importantly joy. I want my faith/hope/trust/joy to adorn and define me now.

The clothes are there, they look great on us and if we don't like it now, it will be there, waiting to clothe us in righteousness.

These are my prayers for myself and for you.

So how does the shirt fit? It's starting to grow on me.

I leave you with a quote I read on a good friend's blog, that has stuck with me.

“Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”

-George Seaton